Red Flags, Green Flags: Spot the Signs in Every Relationship

13 Feb 2025

4 Min Read

Shakirah Mohammed (Student Writer), Nellie Chan (Editor)

IN THIS ARTICLE

College life is full of new connections, but not all relationships are healthy. Spot the red and green flags to protect your well-being and thrive in this time!

College is a whirlwind, isn't it? One moment, you're unpacking in your dorm; the next, you're rushing to classes, signing up for clubs, and, most importantly, meeting a flurry of new faces—roommates, classmates, clubmates, and maybe even friends who could become lifelong connections. It's a chapter in your life where relationships take centre stage.

But here's the truth: not all connections are good connections. Movies glamorise unhealthy relationships, and social media romanticises unrealistic ones—which doesn't help. So, how do you ensure the ones you have (or make) are healthy? In this article, we'll break down the red and green flags to watch for, helping you recognise relationships that lift you instead of holding you back—because your time in college is too short to settle for less (and honestly, so is life).

Red Flags: Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Red flags aren't always obvious. Sometimes, they show up in small ways—a comment here, a reaction there—until suddenly, you're in a situation that no longer feels right. And when you care about someone, it's easy to overlook the signs.

But ignoring them won't make them go away. Unhealthy relationships (a.k.a. toxic relationships) can take a toll on your emotional and mental well-being, affecting your confidence, personal connections, and even how you see yourself. That's why recognising red flags early matters—it helps you set boundaries and protect your peace.

Vector art of a referee holding up a red card

So, what should you be looking out for? Here are some warning signs that a relationship might be doing more harm than good:

Emotional Exhaustion:

If you feel drained or overwhelmed after spending time with someone, that's a red flag. This often happens in one-sided relationships where you're constantly offering help but rarely receiving it in return.

For example, a friend who always calls to vent but never asks how you're doing can create an emotional imbalance. Over time, this dynamic may leave you feeling depleted rather than supported.

Control and Manipulation:

A major red flag in any relationship is when someone tries to dictate your choices, isolate you from others, or guilt-trip you into doing things you're uncomfortable with.

For instance, a partner who insists on knowing where you are at all times and gets upset when you spend time with others isn't being protective—they're being controlling. These behaviours can make you feel cornered and suffocated.

Persistent Negativity:

If someone is always ranting about what's wrong, putting others down, or stirring up drama, their presence can turn even the most peaceful moments into stressful ones. This red flag can impact your mood, mental well-being, and overall outlook.

For example, a classmate who makes backhanded comments or gossips behind someone's back. Being around this energy regularly can slowly wear you down.

Green Flags: Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Just like red flags signal trouble, green flags are signs of a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual support. The best connections don't leave you second-guessing; they make you feel safe, valued, and free to be yourself.

But healthy relationships don't just happen by chance—they're developed through communication, understanding, and effort from both sides. And when you surround yourself with people who uplift you, it not only strengthens those relationships but also boosts your confidence and well-being.

Vector art of a hand holding up a woman while another hand offers her a heart

So, what does a healthy relationship look like? Here are some green flags to keep an eye out for:

Open Communication:

One of the clearest signs of a healthy relationship is the ability to communicate openly—a major green flag. In these relationships, you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings, knowing they'll be respected, not judged.

For instance, when you can freely voice your opinions—whether it's something serious or just checking in—and your friend listens attentively, offering feedback when needed. This kind of open communication nurtures trust and deepens the bond.

Respecting Boundaries:

Mutual respect is a key component of healthy relationships, and part of that is respecting each other's boundaries. Recognising and honouring these boundaries creates a safe and supportive space for both people.

For example, when you mention needing time to study before exams, your clubmates don't pressure you to attend club events. Instead, they respect your request for space while still offering support in other ways. This display of understanding is a green flag.

Conflict Resolution:

Disagreements are natural in any relationship, but how they're handled can turn them into a green (or red) flag. In healthy relationships, conflicts are resolved with respect and care, with neither side resorting to blame or shame.

For instance, when an argument arises, both you and your partner listen actively and discuss your differences calmly rather than turning it into a personal attack or public spectacle. This approach shows a shared commitment to working things through together.

Conclusion

While making new connections is important, your well-being should always come first. Build relationships with people who genuinely value you and support your growth. After all, this chapter of your life isn't just about academics—it's also about the people who shape your experience. By embracing healthy relationships and distancing yourself from unhealthy ones, you'll lay the foundation for a fulfilling journey and set yourself up for success, both now and in the future.

Shakirah Mohammed is currently pursuing a Foundation in Arts at Taylor's College. When she's not stressing over assignments, she can be found with her nose buried in the pages of a good book.

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