“Well, I'm not too sure if I can do that.”
Isn’t that a very common phrase we tend to say to ourselves, our best friends, or even life coaches?
A lot of people are unclear about what believing in yourself means, and as a teen, I'm sure we’ve all been clueless at some point or the other. Even at twenty-something, I'm still clueless at times, so trust me you’re doing just fine!
Self-doubt just naturally builds up when you're a teenager, a tender phase of one’s life. And the unfortunate part is that we never really learn how to believe in ourselves. But learning how to believe in yourself isn’t rocket science after all. It requires building up confidence in your abilities as well as falling in love with yourself — the parts of your personality, perspective, and experience that make you uniquely you. It’s definitely easier said than done.
If you’re struggling with self-doubt, it’s likely that you’re focused on the mistakes you’ve made in the past. Well, that’s the first thing we need to immediately stop doing. Step away from the past and tame your thoughts and feelings. Once you begin to accept and learn from your mistakes, all this becomes a piece of cake.
If you still struggle to believe in yourself, read these simple steps to welcome a more confident version of you!
1. Realise that this is all about you. Believing in yourself is finding your inner depths of strength and resilience. But how exactly? Easy peasy! Add up mindful meditation or slight exercise/yoga to your morning routines. Starting your day with a clear and happy mind-set is just perfect to set your day right. Take care of yourself and your mind and body will thank you.
2. Examine what holds you back from believing in yourself. Set a time to reflect on yourself at the end of each day, if not, weekly; and note down the negatives or maintain a journal regularly to evaluate how things are happening every day. “What are the beliefs that are causing a build-up of negative emotions in the first place?” Negative emotions like self-doubt or anxiety are deeply connected to the opinions we have of ourselves based on our life experiences.
It’s a call from your brain to replace them with empowering ones. Do that NOW!
3. Use the law of attraction; which states that you are likely to attract what you think of and focus on the most. Best way to begin is to surround yourself with people who will always inspire and support you in your endeavours. These people will always contribute to your well-being and help strengthen the missing trust factor in yourself.
4. Trick your brain into feeling confident even if you’re not! Yes, it works. You run your brain, it doesn’t run you. So act like you are confident and your brain will do its part into actually bringing that emotion alive. Fake it till you make it. Talk confidently, make eye contact while talking, wear that neon yellow shirt or a full face of makeup and adjust your body language (chin up and smile), whatever it takes to hype yourself up! But remember, NEVER compare yourself to others!
5. Take credit for your successes. We’re always told to learn from our mistakes and failures. The biggest point we tend to ignore is that there is equally enough to learn from one’s success too! If you feel discouraged, remember moments in your past where you were successful at a similar task. Or, remember moments in which you faced obstacles and overcame them with grace and courage. By focusing on the positive part of everything, you can change your mind-set from one of negativity to one of enlightenment.
6. Set your goals and maintain your focus. Remove all major distractions (television, phones) and bring out your planners. Set your milestone deadlines on your calendar. This will help you keep track of yourself and how close you are towards achieving your goals. You may not succeed at things in one go. Keep trying again and never, I repeat NEVER lose hope in yourself. Realign your focus over and over and keep going forth. Success will jump on the bandwagon, I promise!
I agree that this change isn’t too effortless and won’t happen overnight. It’s the consistency and acceptance of changes that you require for your own well-being. You are your own hero and you have to do it for yourself, no one else ever will. With consistency and self-priority, you will achieve that confident version of you who is able to tackle anything and everything!
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